My internet has been disconnected, my airtime has run out and half my friends have left the island. I have been banished to the land of LAN. Yes, dear friends… I write to you from a PC bang. This is the extent of my social circle. A dark, dingy room with blue lights, super fast internet, cacophonic game noise and the smell of old fart and stale cigarettes. Its a nice contrast to my freezing super-quiet apartment. Nice is too nice a word, but still…it is comforting. It also corresponds with my current sleeping schedule, which is whenever its night in South Africa…for everybody knows… The IT people in the land of LAN never sleep… they simply lubricate their throats with coffee and calm their nerves with hot lamion.

The reason my internet was disconnected, is because the company who provides my internet service, has decided to print extra bills and use them as door decorations over the Christmas season. This faux pas has caused a glitch in their budget, and they are now forced to suspend service untill the budget can be ammended. As a kindness to them, I have decided to give them almost all my money, which means that the only thing I can afford to eat now, is lamion. Instant noodles. The Koreans believe that if you eat lamion late at night, that it will give you a round face. So, I will selflessly undergo this experiment to let you know whether this is myth or legend.

In the mean time, I have decided to go on holiday in the land of LAN. The only passport I need is a card, collected at the door, and some dark circles underneath my eyes. Check and check. If you were wondering, a trip to Land of LAN will set you back about 1500 won per hour.  The city I am currently visiting is Getto Gold…and so far I must say, the tinned coffee is hot, and so is the lamion.

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