Now this is a how-to I actually have the answer to. On an ants-in-the pants Saturday otherwise known as the 4th of September, I dressed myself in what I considered to be practical boating-wear. Considering the splash-risk factor, I battled it out with my eyes and jellied in my new pair of contacts. I left home red-eyed…but excited beyond expression.

I had been bragging about my boating day to just about everyone, and now finally, the time arrived. While looking at all the boats I walked to Jeodong harbour with my co-teacher. We finally stopped in front of the tiniest floatation device on the entire island, quite possibly the world. The boat never seemed to look so small when I saw it on its trailer at school…but nothing was as small as the life jacket I got handed. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that it donned an XL in the neck. My co-teacher, who is nick-named Big Kim was reduced dramatically in size after zipping up his gear. It reminded me of how oddly small my dogs always seemed after we immersed them in the pool on hot summer days. None-the less, we stepped on the boat breathless with a little less confidence than we left home with.

After a quick bout about the harbour to yell at some students, we set out into the open sea. It was fantastic! I stuck my hands in the splashing water while Mr Kim got his lesson on boat steering. I happily snapped pictures at everything… I was really curious about which language my lesson would happen in, but my instructor simply put my hand on a black lever and told me to head for Jukdo, one of our tiny neighbouring islands. I blurped and sputtered over jade green water at a pace that would have disappointed even my grandmother. Its not that I didn’t crave to abuse the power given me and swish all around the coast like a Charlie’s Angel after a messy break-up, but I knew the ajoshi’s behind me would guard that lever with the suspicion of a British Immigration official.

Soon enough, we headed back, but not before the instructor showed off his skills by throwing a few risky moves around to make us gasp. That night Mr Kim and I both dreamt of owning our own yacht that came with customised life jackets.